Artemis's Experiment
by bekett
Summary: [DISCONTINUED] Artemis is coerced by everyone around him to build a relationship with someone his own age, and of the opposite sex. He treats it as an experiment, but is thrown off track when his feelings get involved. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Ho, Scotland!

Disclaimer: As much as I would love it, I do not own Artemis Fowl or any other characters who were published in Eoin Colfer's wonderful novels.

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**_Artemis_**

"Arty!" Angeline Fowl knocked on the door to her son's room. "Artemis, open the door!"

Artemis Fowl turned from the computer, a frown on his face. He switched off the monitor and unlocked the door.

"Ah, Arty, there you are." Angeline beamed at him. "What do you say to a trip to Scotland?"

"Scotland, mother?" Artemis asked.

"We just got word from the Stuarts -you remember them don't you?- that Ardnt and Victoria are taking a second honeymoon and their daughter will be all alone in that manor of theirs, and they asked if we would check in on her every now and then, since her older brother will also be away. Ardnt and Victoria just left this morning, so let's go over, shall we?" By 'we' she of course ment Artemis.

"Ah, not today, Mother. I don't remember any Stuart family."

"Well it doesn't really matter or not if you remember them, because you can refresh your memory when you see them again," Angeline said breezily.

"I have other priorities, mother." Artemis edged closer to the desk, turning to go back onto the computer. Angeline noticed and put her hands on her hips.

"Artemis! You're not thinking of going back to whatever you're doing, while this poor lonely girl is by herself in a huge manor with no one else around, waiting for you to show up! Butler is waiting in the Bentley to take you to the Fowl jet and from there to Edinburgh, Scotland." She said smoothly.

"Mother, it's such short-"

"Artemis!"

"Fine, Mother."

**_Reece_**

"Miss Reece."

"Yes, Kelvin?" Reece Stuart turned a page. She was reading _To Kill A Mockingbird_ over again, out of boredom. She was waiting for Gebhard to return so he could give her another lesson on how to fly a helicopter.

"There are visitors at the main entrance. They are Artemis Fowl and Butler."

Kelvin stood in the doorway, taking up most of it with his bulk. Six feet, yellow blond hair in a strict buzzcut, and piercing brown eyes hidden by black sunglasses. He looked at the figure reclining in an armchair and flipping through a paperback, waiting for her reaction.

"What? Fowl? What's he doing here?" She ceased flipping and sat up, swinging her legs down off of the arm of the chair to rest on the floor.

"Mrs Stuart most likely notified Angeline Fowl of your being alone here. Mrs Fowl must have sent Aremis over to check on you."

Reece's face flushed with embaressment. "I don't need a babysitter! Especially not one my own age!" She stood. "Whatever. Go greet them, then." She turned on her heel and walked out onto the siting room's balcony overlooking the driveway.

She leaned on the railing, a scowl marring her features. The wind teased her hair, plucking blond strands here and there. She tucked her hair behind her ears. She had very straight dirty blond hair, cut purposely choppy and left to just brush her shoulders. She had grey eyes rimmed with blue. "Wolf grey witch eyes," her brother called them. Juvenile freckles marched across her nose, as much as she tried to conceal them with makeup. They made her look younger than she was. At least she wasn't exceedingly short, to add more to the childish effect. At 5'6 she was an average height.

Her eyes latched onto the car pulling up the drive. A man taller even than Kelvin stepped out of the driver's side, as a vampire-esque teenager opened the passenger side door. Butler and Artemis Fowl had arrived. Reece supposed she had better go greet them, lest Artemis tattle to her mother, forcing her parents to come home early to chastise their daughter on proper manners. Wouldn't that be a bummer.

"I don't need anyone to check up on me" was the first sentence out of Reece's mouth. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Kelvin wince and silently slap his forehead. The entrance hall was completely silent for a long moment.

Artemis raised a brow fractionally. "I came here not of my own free will, I can assure you."

"Er, alright. Fowl, I'm sure you need to freshen up after your trip. I'll see you in an hour, then? Right." She turned and walked quickly up the grand staircase before taking an elevator up to her room on the fourth floor. There were five floors in all, the fifth being storage.

**_Artemis_**

Artemis watched her go, feeling a smirk lift the corners of his mouth. It was both hard and easy to believe that she was only a year younger than him by the way she acted. _And looked, what with those freckles._ He consented to being led along with Butler by Kelvin, who showed them to connecting guest rooms on the third floor.

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Author's hype:  
Awesome my first fanfic. Which is odd, since I've read hundreds on this site. xD This chapter was alright. Usually people don't read fanfics with OC characters, but I'm hoping people won't be too put out by it. Til next chapter then! 


	2. Midnight Hot Pockets

Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis, but I really wish I did. I don't own Butler or Holly or the other characters either, but I don't wish I own them as much as I wish I owned Artemis. 3

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**_Artemis_ **

Artemis clattered away on his laptop, the electronic glow and a table lamp the only light in the room. Butler had long since gone to bed, and the castle was silent. He wasn't planning on going to sleep yet. He hadn't even changed into his sleepwear.

His mother had sent on a few suitcases of clothing, deciding that getting away from the manor and keeping Reece company would be character building for him. He scowled at the memory of her all-too-cheerful voice over the telephone informing him of his forced vacation. At least he had his laptop and Holly's fairy communicator. That had proven useful to have. Holly had communicated with him at about 9:00pm, asking a favor. One of her clients had a golden sapphire stolen from her. The sapphire in question was supposed to be of incomparable size, the second largest of its kind.

So here he was, staying up late running searches through jewelry stores and private sellers, looking for any company or individual who had recently come into possession of a golden sapphire.

Artemis paused to run a few exercises on his hands to keep them in good working order. He didn't want to cramp later on. He shook his dark hair out of his eyes and turned his attention back to his plasma screen, continuing his search.

**_Reece_**

Reece stretched and got up, her body and mind protesting. She swung her legs out of bed and rubbed her eyes as she walked to the door. She ran a hand through her sleep-tousled hair. Her eyes were glazed as she slowly woke up. She looked at a hall clock. It was just past midnight. She had woken up with severe food cravings. She tried to go back to sleep, to no avail. Her stomach was stubborn.

So here she was, padding down the hall, headed for the kitchen in bare feet and white and blue striped flannel pajamas. The kind that have a top that buttons up and looks like a man's oxford shirt and normal drawstring bottoms.

Her head cleared as she walked, and she soon passed Artemis's room. She saw a light under the door and paused. She wondered why he was still up. Her stomach could wait. She wanted to investigate.

She knocked softly and, without waiting for a reply, opened the door. Artemis was sitting at the desk, typing away on his laptop. He soon stopped and looked up. His mouth turned down slightly, and he looked her up and down, seeing her in only pajamas. Reece noticed that he was still in his day clothes, minus his suit jacket. He smirked at her lack of proper dress and she rolled her eyes.

"What are you doing up?" She asked, taking a few steps into the room.

"Just some extra-curricular work," he replied. "And, what, pray, are you doing up? Isn't it customary for one to hire security guards to run checks of the grounds, rather than do it yourself?" He raised a brow fractionally.

"I," she said cooly, "was on my way to the kitchen. I'm hungry." She paused, turning over a thought in her mind. She scratched at the floor with her foot, embaressed. She had to really force herself to meet his eyes. This was so embaressing. "Would you like to join me?"

**_Flashback: Reece_**

Kelvin planted himself in front of Reece's bedroom door, blocking his charge's path. He crossed his arms and stared down at her.

"Reece."

"_What?_"

"How you treated Artemis Fowl and Butler was, for lack of a softer word, rude. Try to get on with them. Artemis, at the very least. You are the hostess, so act like it." He let go of his crossed arms and let them hang, his tone turning softer. "Reece, you are going to be stuck with Artemis, for better or worse, and it'll be much more enjoyable if you can be friends with each other. I'm not asking you to have sex with him," He said, cutting off Reece's words as she opened her mouth to reply. "I'm just saying, be civil with each other. Alright?"

"Kelvin-"

"_Alright_, Reece?"

"Fine!" She threw up her hands and stalked over to her laptop, logging on. There she sulked. Weren't bodyguards supposed to listen to and obey their employers? Not the other way around?

**_End Flashback_**

Reece saw a strange look take over Artemis's features. Or rather, lack of a look. It was as though his expression didn't know how to arrange itself. He blinked, and a long moment stretched longer. Reece fidgeted. She knew she was supposed to be polite and such, but this was getting more awkward by the second.

"Well?" She prompted, exasperated.

_Now_ Artemis's features knew how to settle themselves. He shrugged, playing the 'Oh if I really _must…' _"I accept." He shut his laptop and stood. At the same time, she turned and walked out of the room, not waiting for him.

She opened the cabinets and took out two mugs. Artemis lounged against the island countertop behind her. They had settled on tea and rolls. She poured filtered hot water into each mug and dropped in the tea bags. Earl Grey for Artemis, and Raspberry for Reece. She brought the mugs to the island and gave Artemis his, putting hers on the counter to cool a bit.

"Alright, now for the rolls…" She paused, blinking. How do you make rolls?

"What is it?" Artemis asked.

"Uhm. How do you make rolls?"

"You don't know how to make them?" Artemis frowned at her. "What kind of a girl are you, to not know how to make something as simple as rolls?"

She whirled, glaring at him, hands on her hips. "Shut up! The fact is, I don't know how to make them. _Kelvin_ knows how to make them, and _chefs_ know how to make them, so I didn't need to learn how! You make them." She stepped aside.

"…"

"…"

She reeled. "Don't tell me! Aretmis Fowl doesn't know how to make something '_as simple as_' rolls!"

Artemis glared at her. "The circumstances were the same for me as well. I never had the need to learn how."

"Well, then what are we going to do?" She said, raising her voice, frustrated.

"Look it up in a cookbook," Artemis suggested, sipping his tea.

"A cookbook? They won't have something '_as simple as rolls_' in a cookbook."

"Will you let that go already?" Artemis scowled at the shorter blonde.

"Maybe. But, how are we going to get rolls, if no one can make them?"

She stared at Artemis.

Artemis stared back.

**_Artemis_**

"You know, I've actually never had this before," Artemis commented as he cut his hot pocket.

"Actually, me neither." Reece replied, already lifting a piece to her mouth with a fork. She chewed carefully, swallowed, and said, "Think we're supposed to eat these with our hands?" She looked at the box they came in, where a man was eating one with his hands.

"Oh well," Artemis waved the comment away. He was not going to use his hands, no matter what a box said.

"I wonder how they make these."

"Most likely they pre-cook the food and add in salt, so it lasts longer. Then they just freeze it. The real question is, why they make these."

"Yes. Most people have the facilities to cook their own food, why have pre-cooked food?"

"Exactly. My guess is that they were originally made for astronauts and somehow became popular down on the Earth's surface."

"That makes sense." The blonde head nodded and returned to eating her hot pocket with knife and fork.

It was a good thing they had found these Hot Pockets in the freezer. They were instant food, something Artemis had not tried before. They were surprisingly good. They didn't go that well with Earl Grey tea, though… Damn. Artemis suspected he could get addicted to these things. Hot pockets.

"You know-"

Artemis looked up to see Reece pointing a fork at him thoughtfully. "We should take cooking classes. I don't know about you, but I don't like feeling so helpless. That if Kelvin or a chef wasn't around, I wouldn't be able to survive because I can't cook."

"It's a humbling thought, yes," Artemis agreed. "But my name suggests femininity enough that I don't need cooking to add to it," he finished.

"So you're going to reject a survival skill at the risk of being effeminate? I thought you were supposed to be a genius, Fowl! Stop being so sexist. Since when do you care what other's think, anyways?" She took another bite of pizza-style hot pocket and a sip of tea.

Artemis felt chastised and couldn't find a response to that. He continued to eat his hot pocket.

"I'm not telling you to turn into Martha Stewart-"

"I'll do it," he interrupted.

"Huh- What-?"

Artemis merely shrugged. "Set up the cooking class. But, I'm not planning on turning into a master chef. Just a simple lesson. Making soup and bread and such. Nothing spectacular."

Reece beamed. "Deal. But, there's definitley going to be a lesson on desserts. You don't have to participate if you don't want to."

"I'll watch. Maybe."

"Fair enough." Reece smiled at him and sipped her tea. She then looked around. "What time is it?"

Artemis wasn't familiar with the locations of the clocks at Castle Stuart. Luckily, Reece answered her own question.

"It's 12:27. I have to go to bed, even though I'm not tired. If I don't, I'm be hell to be within ten feet of tomorrow." She got up out of the chair she was in and stretched.

Artemis couldn't help but wince inwardly. If she had been acting polite that day, he didn't want to find out how she acted when she was at her worst.

He watched her put her dining items in the sink and walk to the door. He bit back a laugh, noticing for the second time that she was only in her pajamas, and that they dwarfed her figure anyways. At the door she turned, covering a yawn with a hand. She gave a careless wave. "Night Artemis." And she was gone.

Artemis stayed in the kitchen a bit longer, pondering while finishing his Earl Grey. When he was finished, he put his items in the sink, and went to bed. He wanted to finish his jewelry search, but didn't know if Reece wouldn't be up for a second time at odd hours. She perplexed him in more ways than one.

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Author's hype:

Lots of Reece POV in this chapter. I had meant it to be mainly Artemis, but I'm starting to see the benefits of switching back and forth.


	3. A Chocolate Cheesecake Adventure

Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis. But if I did, **_man_** would I be happy...

Replies to reviews: (since I found that the 'reply' thing just.doesn't.work. Blargh.)

yoursovain: My first reviewer ever! Cool! Thanks for the compliment. I'm glad you like OCs, because there are at least two main ones in this story. XD

Dark Wolf Goddess etc.: Sorry I couldn't put your long beautiful name. I'm happy that people like OCs. I really didn't think anyone would. At all. lol.

Ponee: I shall continue!

luvvcaptainjack: Thanks! Sorry I didn't make it clearer. In this fanfic, **Artemis is 17 going on 18, and Reece is 16 going on 17.**

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_**Reece **_

"I've lost the recipe again!"

"It's on the counter."

"Knew that." Reece quickly scanned the recipe before turning away. The recipe was titled '**Chocolate Cheesecake**'. Simple and to the point. Easy to follow. But that was for the general population. This was Reece Stuart and Artemis Fowl.

She was in the castle's kitchen, where she and Artemis had had their midnight snack a few nights ago. After taking a general cooking class and then a dessert one for Reece, Reece had decided that she wanted to make a cake by herself. She was determined to accomplish her goal. So far she was failing.

Her short blonde hair was up in a messy ponytail. It didn't hold all of her hair. Blonde strands hung at the nape of her neck and around her flushed face. She had dug up an apron from somewhere. It was a faded blue and currently covered with chocolate, sugar, and cream cheese.

"Okay, so it says next I mix the cream cheese and chocolate together. Easy enough." She smiled encouragingly at the pale teen leaning against the island. He did not meet her eyes. She followed his gaze and saw the mess she had made. Sugar and chocolate was everywhere. Even flour, which wasn't even on the list of ingredients.

She got the medium sized mixing bowl and added in the cream cheese and chocolate. She rummaged in a drawer for a whisk. With an 'Aha!' she put it into the bowl and began to beat the cream cheese and chocolate together. It was tough. She pushed the bowl into Artemis's hands.

"Artemis, help!"

Artemis rolled his eyes and used the whisk deftly, mixing until it was smooth. It was a thick, sticky light golden brown substance and clung to the whisk.

"Ah… Reece. I don't think it's supposed to look like that."

"How would you know?" She turned from setting the oven and looked at it. "It looks fine to me! It's not even done yet; of course it won't look perfect. She took the whisk from him and tried to mix it once more, but the whisk wouldn't budge. She stared at it, then slowly took her hand away. It stuck straight upward, held in place by the mixture. She gaped.

"Uhm, I think it's supposed to do that…" She brought out another bowl and tried to pour the mixture into that one, to see what would happen. Nothing came out. She stared at it, perplexed.

Artemis grabbed the chocolate-streaked recipe, reading it. "Reece, you mixed twenty-four ounces of cream cheese and twelve ounces of melted chocolate, correct?"

"Yeah, that's right."

"You read the recipe wrong."

"What! I did not. Give me that." She snatched it from him and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Her fingers left a chocolate streak on her cheek. "Gather ingredients… Medium sized bowl… Mix cream cheese and-" She paused, and looked to Artemis with very round eyes. "Sugar." Her gaze slowly shifted to the whisk, still suspended in the mixture. "Shit!"

"Reece-?" Kelvin called from the next room. He and Butler were talking about whatever bodyguards talked about.

"Nothing!"

Kelvin entered the room. Butler poked his head in as well. They saw the mixture… with the whisk… and turned green. They were the test subjects, and were going to have to eat whatever Reece and Artemis made. Kelvin mumbled something incoherent and staggered back into the next room along with Butler. Normal conversation started a long moment later.

"You're very profane," Artemis commented.

"Shut up!"

"And rude."

She swiped a finger into the mixture and wiped it on his cheek. He scrubbed his hand at it, trying to get it off. Reece smiled. His attempts were in vain. The mixture was extremely sticky.

"Stop criticizing me and help me get rid of this crap!"

"Wash the bowl."

"No duh Sherlock!" She brought the bowl over to she sink and turned on the faucet. It barely made a dent in the stuff. She yanked at the whisk, frustrated. It moved. Filled with renewed vigor, she yanked harder and it popped free, whacking her in the cheek. "Ow!" She chucked the whisk behind her, into the sink, and rubbed her cheek.

Artemis rolled his eyes and took the bowl to the sink, dumping it in as well.

"Now what?" Reece asked.

"You're the one who's making this… cheesecake," Artemis replied. "I'm just an observer."

"You have to help me as well," Reece growled. She grabbed another medium sized bowl, prepared to start all over. "Okay so the cream cheese and _sugar_ mix together… Then the eggs… Sour cream and vanilla… melted chocolate…" She painstakingly measured, added, and mixed the ingredients, the tip of her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth in concentration.

**_Artemis_**

Artemis felt the communicator in his pocket vibrate. Holly had mandated that he keep it on him at all times, should she come up with new information. He held the communicator in his pocket and made for the hallway.

"Where are you going!" Reece demanded. She was up to her elbows in goop. Artemis grimaced.

"Phone call," he replied, and closed the door leading to the hallway. He leaned against a wall and took out the communicator.

"What is it, Holly?" He asked the elfin face on the screen.

"Who was that?" She asked suspiciously.

"Someone. What is it?"

"Who was it? The voice sounded female. Was it Juliet? Or your mother?"

"Just a friend," Artemis replied impatiently. "What did you want to tell me?"

Holly raised her brows at his choice of words. Artemis glared.

"What's on your cheek?" Holly persisted, looking at the glob Reece had wiped on him for being criticizing.

"It doesn't matter. Some cake batter." He rubbed his cheek with his palm, getting irritated. "Holly, what is it?"

"'Cake batter?' The genius Artemis Fowl is making a cake?" Holly cackled.

"It must be nothing important you needed to tell me, if you're going on about cake batter," the teenager said dourly.

"No, it's important enough. I'm just in a good mood because I got a great price on getting connections to you. Usually they cost me a fortune… Mulch has proven useful, shockingly enough."

A shouting voice could be heard in the background, "I heard that!" It was muffled, as if the owner of the voice was eating something. Something large, like a sub sandwich.

"Then, for the fifth and final time, what is it you wanted to tell me about?"

"I want to know what type of cake you're making."

"I'm hanging up."

"Fine, fine, Mud Boy. We have determined the continent of the sapphire's location. It is located in North America. Which country, you'll have to find on your own, but that should narrow your search."

"How did you find out that it is in North America?"

"The client had 'forgot to mention' that she had put a GPS tracking dot on the case in which the sapphire was being kept. We got a lock on the GPS, but it was low quality and very fuzzy. We picked up random coordinates in the Northern part of North America, depending on whether we had a good lock on it or not, but at one point the GPS just went out like a light. The thieves must have found out and destroyed the bag."

Artemis nodded. "Thank you Holly. This will certainly help my search. Is there anything else?"

"No. But…"

"Yes?" Artemis pressed, thinking it was a theory Holly had about the location of the sapphire, or of who stole it.

"When I get an aboveground pass, I want a piece of a cake the great genius Fowl –and whoever else- made." The screen went blank.

Artemis glowered, stuffing the communicator into the pocket of his slacks before heading back into the kitchen. He was met by an irritated, shorter than the dark-haired, lanky teen by at least five inches, blonde girl in a faded blue apron that was too big on her.

"Yes?" He stepped around her, into the kitchen. He found his spot and leaned against the counter of the island once again. Reece stomped after him.

"Why are you so angry?" He asked.

She stopped stomping and looked blank for a moment. "I don't know. I didn't like it when you left, and it just grew from there." She went to the oven to check on the cheesecake.

Artemis watched her, feeling confused and yet intrigued, wanting to figure out how her mind worked, that she behaved the way she did.

They leaned against counters across from each other in silence for twenty-five minutes. Then Reece opened the oven to turn it over, just as the instructions said. Afterward, Artemis pointed out that the instructions had said to turn it over when fifteen minutes was up. Reece ignored him and resumed leaning against the counter across from him. Artemis saw that this time she deliberately turned her head ninety degrees to the side so she wouldn't have to look at him. He raised a brow and said nothing.

**_Reece_**

About fifty minutes later, the timer sounded. Reece looked up from her position of sitting on the floor, leaning against the cubboards behind her. Artemis looked up as well, from his perch sitting atop of island counter. Reece had to tilt her head far back to see him.

She stood and opened the oven. The cloud of heat flooded the kitchen. She turned it off. She fumbled for oven mitts and carefully took out the cheesecake, kicking the oven door shut with her foot as she turned away. Artemis glanced at the instructions.

"Bake at 400°F. for 15 minutes, turn oven down to 225°F. and bake another 50 minutes, or until set in the center. Turn oven off and let cheesecake set with oven door cracked 1 hour. Chill."

Artemis decided not to tell her she was doing it wrong. He didn't really know why he didn't tell her. Maybe Holly was right; he was changing. He was not usually so considerate of another's feelings. Especially in this circumstance, in which if he did not tell her, the cheesecake could taste awful because of it, and he would still have to eat it to continue to be considerate. Lose-lose situation for him.

But, Reece wouldn't be hurt and unhappy. Did that make it alright? Did that help the lose-lose situation? He still lost, but… maybe because he helped her into a win-win situation, that made it better? It was all very confusing.

"Okay, so how long does it cool?"

Reece's voice shook him out of his ponderings. "An hour," he replied.

"How are we going to kill an hour?" Reece untangled herself from the apron and set it on the counter, unfolded. Artemis shrugged, and made no suggestions.

"Reece?"

Reece furrowed her brow. "Go away Sean…" She mumbled, thinking it was her older brother trying to wake her up. She turned over, blonde hair stuck to her face from the heat of a hot Caribbean morning.

"Reece, it's Artemis."

She sat up, ready to hit Sean. She saw a pale face framed by dark locks instead of her brother's tan face with messy golden blonde hair. Artemis? She wasn't in the Caribbean on a vacation, she was in the kitchen. The heat she had thought was from being near the equator was actually the heat that had come into the room when they had opened the oven. And Sean wasn't waking her up, it was Artemis Fowl.

"Reece, the cheesecake is ready."

She looked past Artemis, to see Kelvin and Butler seated anxiously at the kitchen's small table, set with plates and cutlery. She nodded, shaking her head to clear her head. She had fallen asleep somehow. On the floor. She grimaced. Oh well. She stretched and picked up the cheesecake, bringing it to the table along with a serving knife. She cut Kelvin, Butler, and Artemis slices, then stepped back, beaming. It was traditional for the others in the room to taste the cooking before the chef did. Artemis didn't really count as a chef.

She watched the three men's faces, eager to see any reaction. She crossed her fingers, bouncing on her heels with renewed energy.

Kelvin took the first bite, giving her a strained smile before putting the piece in his mouth. He grimaced, then opened his eyes, one after the other. He blinked, chewed slowly, and swallowed. He set down his fork and pushed the plate away slightly.

Reece looked crestfallen. Butler saw and frowned at Kelvin.

"What's the matter with you?" Reece saw Butler shoot him a look that said, 'She's your charge, lie and say it tastes wonderful if it tastes awful'. Reece rolled her eyes. If Kelvin didn't like it, he shouldn't lie and say it tasted great.

She saw how Kelvin's reaction made Butler more than a little apprehensive to taste the cake, but he made himself take a bite. His brows raised, and he nodded at Reece and Artemis. He took another bite, and another.

Reece beamed. She turned to Artemis, who had yet to take a bite and was looking at the cake as if she had told him to eat **haggis.** He slowly cut a piece, and put it in his mouth. He chewed carefully, then swallowed. He blinked, and looked at Reece, astonished.

"It tastes fine," he said.

Reece frowned. "Why wouldn't it? Aren't you supposed to say it tasted good or something?"

"Because you made it wrong," Artemis retorted. He saw the horrified expressions of the two bodyguards and amended, "Well, you only made mistakes on a couple of the steps. Nothing serious, if it still came out fine."

At the same time, Reece said, "I did not mess it up!" She cut herself a slice and took a bite. "It tastes like cheesecake! I did it!" She glanced at Artemis, debated whether he deserved any credit after saying she did it wrong, and said, "_We_ did it!"

Artemis looked at her oddly, then nodded.

Kelvin made a face. "It's too damn sweet for me. Too sugary."

Reece remembered that Kelvin hated all sweets, and felt relieved. That was why he had made that face. He disliked any and all sugary desserts. She knew that.

"I think it's great. Good job, you two. You make a good team," Butler said, the last part directed meaningfully at Artemis. Reece didn't catch the exchange. She winked and grinned at Artemis.

"Thanks Butler! And yeah, good job Artemis!" She lowered her voice and said, "Even though you did nothing pretty much…"

Artemis knit his brows, but she hadn't finished.

"…We still made a good cheesecake. We have to make other desserts as well. Unless Master Fowl thinks it too effeminate."

"No, I think it would be fine to observe again. Maybe something easier than cheesecake…?" He suggested gently.

"No way! The only way to go is up!" Reece's eyes shone with a challenge. "More and more harder recipes and more and more complicated dishes! Desserts, of course. I don't want to handle meats or anything like that. Kelvin, make a note that we need to get dessert cookbooks. But now…" She looked rueful, and ruffled her hair. Most of it had come out of her originally-messy ponytail. She had sugar on her nose and a chocolate streak by her ear. "I want to take a shower."

Artemis snorted.

Reece glared.

Kelvin and Butler smiled.

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**Chocolate Cheesecake**: This is an actual recipe for chocolate cheesecake. I got it from a website that FanFiction won't let me post the URL to on here, but the website is called thatsmyhome-dot-com, and you go to "Cheesecake Cafe" and it's just called "Chocolate Cheesecake".

**Haggis** (n): A Scottish dish consisting of a mixture of the heart, lungs, and liver of a sheep or calf mixed with onions, oatmeal, and seasonings, and boiled in the stomach of the dead sheep or calf.

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Author's hype: 

Another chapter! I like the ending. And I like the exchange between Holly and Artemis. When I say I like certain parts in a chapter, I'm not trying to brag. I just like to read the stories I write. I write stories I myself would be pleased to read. And it's very fun writing these exchanges. You have no idea. Unless you are an author yourself, in which you probably do. Luv Bekett

BTW: Want to know the best feeling ever? When you expect ZERO reviews (seriously, I NEVER expect reviews), and then you log in one day to see you have three, and that same day you get another. That is the coolest feeling ever. It made me want to thank my reviewers, so I put out another chapter right then and there. XD


	4. St Leander and St Delia

Disclaimer: I don't own Aremis, I don't own Butler, I don't own Holly, blah blah blah. All that.

Replies to latest reviews:

Wolfie: I'm glad you like it. I love cheesecakes. XD I also thought it would be funnier than if he was helping to make a regular sponge cake or something like that. 

Art's Girl: Roger. I shall be posting more, undoubtably. This story is too fun to write to stop.

luvvcaptainjack: I just realized that yeah, it is _barely_ fluffy. I should add more. Lol. It's good on the fun meter, I think. The fluff can be heightened. I'm glad you like it, though.

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**_Reece _**

Reece tugged at the collar of her Oxford shirt as she munched on a crossiant for breakfast. No deliciously cooked breakfast for her today, not if she had to make it and with so little time. She had to be in class by nine, twenty minutes from now. After two more weeks of freedom, -if you call having to 'hang out' with Artemis Fowl freedom; his idea of hanging out was to be in the same room while they each typed away at their laptops- she was back at school. Saint Delia's School For Girls and Saint Leander's School For Boys started an hour later than other schools because the schools took pity on their wealthy students, letting them have an hour to sleep in. The two schools were a set; one co-ed school split in two.

She took her two vitamins with a gulp of milk each. One was an all-around vitamin, the other was her **Ester-C** vitamin. Artemis was getting ready to go in his room.

**_Flashback: Reece_**

Reece watched Artemis glare at his computer screen for an hour before asking what was the matter. He had replied that his mother wanted him to go to Saint Leander's, the twin school of Saint Delia's, so he could continue to keep Reece company until her parents came home.

Reece rolled her eyes. She wondered why Angeline Fowl thought she needed babysitting so badly, and why Kelvin couldn't do that for Artemis. The last time she met the woman was when she was about five, so it was reasonable that Mrs Fowl still thought of her as a helpless child.

**_End Flashback_**

On top of it all, no one knew when her mother and father were coming back, so Artemis was staying indefinitley. Which meant that any day her parents could come back and he would be able to go back home. Butler and Kelvin had both agreed that because of the uncertainty of the whole situation, it would be easiest if Artemis shared an apartment with Reece rather than getting his own.

Butler and Kelvin weren't even in Glasgow, Scotland, where St Leander's and St Delia's was. Bodyguards were not allowed near school grounds, end of story. Therefore, the two were taking a mini-vacation, just hanging around Castle Stuart and doing whatever bodyguards did in their free time.

Reece never knew her bodyguard was such a sadist. She wanted her privacy, damn it! It was a **good-sized apartment**, but Reece and Artemis were used to roomier dwellings, obviously, considering the size of their estates. The kitchen, dining room, and living room were one large room, with the kitchen at one end, the dining room in between, and the couch marking the entrance to the living room end of the room at the other end. There were two bedrooms, and one bathroom. Reece actually had to share a bathroom, which she had never done before. And, her first time sharing a bathroom would be with a male. It would be an interesting experience.

"Ready?" Artemis walked in from his room, decked in the St Leander's school uniform consisting of black slacks, black loafers, white Oxford shirt and navy blue blazer. In his hand he carried his school-required leather briefcase and his car keys.

Butler had decided to let Artemis drive the Bentley while going to St Leander's, on the condition that he had to give Reece a lift as well. The schools were far enough away that you had to drive. Reece had been going to St Delia's since she started high school, and had usually carpooled with a friend. This was faster, though.

"Yes. Let's go." Reece grabbed her school-required leather backpack and grabbed her apartment keys off the side table near the front door. She tugged on her skirt as she walked out the door and down the stairs to the parking lot. She didn't like school uniforms. Girls going to St Delia's had to wear a navy pleated skirt that was on the shorter side, white knee or thigh-high socks, black dress shoes, a white Oxford shirt, and a light blue blazer.

Reece had always wondered why administrators made the skirts short and had you wear knee socks when you were going to a school which was named after a saint. She did like wearing a uniform for one reason. It meant she could get up as late as possible, grab a crossiant, throw on her uniform without having to put together an outfit, and be out the door in minutes.

Reece tossed her backpack in the backseat and strapped herself in, pushing her hair out of her face. She wanted to see Artemis's driving skills. She hadn't even known if he had a liscense, but supposed it was a no-brainer. He was seventeen, going to be eighteen in March, of course he would have a liscense. She still had to take her driver's liscense test, even though she was already sixteen. She had skipped it when an opportunity to watch a NASA take-off while actually being there, in the station, had arose.

Artemis turned the key in the ignition and backed out, speeding off to the schools.

**_Artemis_**

Artemis wanted Ardnt and Victoria Stuart to come back from their honeymoon. Very badly.

The boys in his class were stuck up and rude. They passed snide comments at every given opportunity about anything. His hair, his complexion, being a new student, all of it. He didn't care much about that. But teachers who failed you for being over-reaching? That was too much. He could almost miss St Bartleby's. Almost.

Besides the teachers, it wasn't that different from St Bartleby's. After his first class session of Trigonometry, he had been signed up for a psychologist appointment. How typical.

The one good thing about St Leander's and St Delia's was that you were allowed to leave the campus for an hour for lunch. Not that there was anywhere nearby he had deemed suitable to dine at. But then, he didn't know the area.

He swung by St Delia's, hunted for Reece, and dragged her to the car so she could help him find a restaurant for lunch. She pointed him to the nearest Starbucks. He outright refused. She yelled that it was his fault that he had roamed around aimlessly for the past half hour, so that they had no time to go anywhere else and would have to settle for Starbucks. He muttered darkly and ended up with black coffee and coffee cake. To escape his moodiness, Reece stuck her head out the window on the ride back to school and let the wind whip her hair to and fro.

When he got back, Artemis remembered that he had an appointment with the school's psychologist that session. He took his time making his way to the psychologists' offices. He had an appointment with a 'E. Clairmont', as the slip said. He found the right office and walked in without knocking.

Automatically he thought the had gone into the wrong office. A woman in her early thirties looked up from the computer on her desk. She had smokey brown hair that curled to her shoulders and dark green eyes. She stood, and walked around from behind the desk, holding out hand.

"You must be Artemis Fowl. I am Elizabeth Clairmont," she smiled.

Artemis wore a puzzled frown. He had always been paired with male psychologists. And what was a female psychologist doing in an all male school?

"Hello. Where shall I sit?" He wanted to get this over with so he could go back to class and get a month ahead of everyone else so he wouldn't have to even show up for class for a while. Not that it mattered. Senior year wasn't a very academic year anyways. He only had to take four out of seven classes. Seniors were allowed free sessions to allow time for part-time jobs and such.

"Anywhere you like. You aren't required to sit. You can look around if you wish." She walked back to her swivel chair and looked to her computer for a few moments. She clicked the mouse a few times and then turned to Artemis. She had been closing all her windows, apparently.

"Why are you in my office?"

Artemis looked at her, keeping his composure while wanting to make a face. This woman was obviously new at this. All information on the subject was supposed to be gathered beforehand, so the psychologist could waste no time in getting right to it and solving the problem.

"Because I provided an answer too intelligent for someone of my age," he settled upon.

"I see. Tell me about yourself, Artemis."

Artemis's eyebrows snapped together in an almost audible click. This woman was being completely unorthodox and would be fired for it. She wasn't even taking any notes, for heaven's sake. Artemis decided to play along.

"I am Artemis Fowl. I live in Ireland. I'm staying here temporarily. I have an IQ that surpasses most people my age and many adults. I have a bodyguard called Butler. I don't like this school and I think your methods of psychiatry are unorthodox and crude. The only reason I am in Scotland at all is because I am staying with a companion while her parents are away."

"What is the name of the companion you are staying with?"

"Reece Stuart."

"Are you related?"

"No."

"Then she must be a close friend, if you agreed to stay with her indefinitley to keep her company."

Artemis paused, thinking this over. "I was coerced into staying with her by my mother."

"I see. Does she go to St Delia's?"

"Yes."

Elizabeth Clairmont leaned back in her chair, looking concerned. Artemis waited her her to speak. She was most likely ready to go back to more conventional methods of psychiatry, Artemis having stumped her while she used her own methods.

She sighed and sat up straighter in her chair, pushing her hair out of her eyes. "I think you should go back to class. Sorry Artemis, but I don't have time for cases like yours, if you can call them that. There is nothing 'wrong' with you, contrary to what your Trigonometry teacher thinks. And, as you obviously have elsewhere you'd rather be, I don't want to waste time trying to get you to admit you have a split personality disorder or some other idiotic disorder your teachers claim you have. Do you need me to write you a hall pass?"

Artemis sat, looking at the psychologist as if she had grown another head. She was giving up? No, not really. Maybe he could take the hall pass and go to the library. His teachers had been adamant in that he was not permitted back in class until he had had a productive session with the psychologist.

"I am not allowed in class until I have had a full session with you," Artemis said slowly.

Elizabeth Clairmont glowered. "Arrogant morons…" She sighed and smiled ruefully at a confused Artemis. "Then we'll just have to make the best of it, won't we? I could use a free hour, I suppose. We'll meet at this time, after lunch hour every day and talk about whatever you like. It seems as if you don't get to do that much."

Artemis nodded, still a tad disoriented at this alien of a psychologist. He wondered how she knew that he didn't communicate intimately with barely anyone.

"Tell me what it's like having an IQ that size. You must have a rough time finding friends who can keep up with you."

Artemis could find no harm in doing so. He was apprehensive at talking deeply with someone else, but found it oddly reassuring that she was a complete stranger. He pondered at the reason.

"Well, Ms Clairmont-"

"Call me Elizabeth."

Yet another peculiarity of this psychologist. Unconventional methods, expressings of intense dislike toward teachers, and want of a first-name basis. Just maybe, he would show up for the appointment tomorrow, rather than make up an excuse.

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**Ester-C**: Ester-C is a real over-the-counter vitamin that keeps you from breaking out. Anyone can take it. I take it, actually. I've never broken out. Maybe that has something to do with me being only fourteen, but whatever. 

**Good-sized apartment**: I actually found an interior I liked of an apartment. It's atwww-dot-acorncourt-dot-com-slash-gallery3-dot-html. All of the pictures shown are how I think the apartment looks, besides the picture of the bedroom. Neither Artemis nor Reece would decorate their bedroom in such a way, with that bedspread and such. Besides that, the main size and window position is how I picture their bedrooms to be. Especially the black leather couch.

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Author's hype: 

Finally the psychologist gets involved. XD This chapter doesn't have a lot of ArtemisxReece in it, sorries. But the coming of the psychologist marks the real beginning, when Artemis decides that he might want to try a relationship with Reece, just to gather firsthand data on dating and suchlike. Be happy- I just gave you an inside peek at what's going to happen. Can't say any more though. I love surprises.


	5. Canadian Conundrum Part 1

Disclaimer: Since I don't own Artemis, then… I don't. What else is there to say?

Replies to latest reviews:

vampire outlaw of london: I totally did not know that. Thank you so much. I'm pretty ignorant in the ways of the UK and most other places in Europe, besides Germany. So, thanks so much for that. Good thing Artemis is almost 18, then, otherwise I would've had to rewrite some of the story. Phew.

Ms.RealMadrid: I'm happy you find them useful. I'm pretty iffy on if people actually look at anything like the 'Author's hype' or the little notes, since it's not like you _need_ them to have the story process in your brain, but ah well. Nice to know someone reads them. xD

A Cup of Earl Grey: Thanks! Elizabeth is 100 thought up in my head. I wanted a psychologist that could throw Artemis off-guard enough to make him actually open up, if a little cautiously. One of my author-friends wants to be a counselor/psychologist, so Elizabeth has thrown in how I think that friend would act as a psychologist.

cheekytriangle: Thanks for those stars. Maybe I'll be able to win more than seven and a half, ne? xD Yeah, I try not to overuse phrases too much, because it takes away the significance of them.

Artemis Fowl's Girl: More is coming!

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**_Artemis_**

"Artemiiis…"

"What?" Artemis entered Reece's bedroom, going to the small form hidden beneath the comforter.

"I want some strawberries."

"Fine." Artemis left Reece's room to get her a bowl of strawberries.

Reece disregarded them. "I want chocolate covered strawberries."

"…"

Artemis left to heat chocolate until it melted, then dipped the strawberries in, and then brought them back to Reece.

"Actually, I want some soup."

_I may just have to kill her… _Artemis clenched his teeth, did an about-face, and strutted back to the kitchen of their apartment. Reece was in bed with a bad cold. Artemis had unwillingly been drafted to be a nurse. Neither of them were going to school today. Reece couldn't because she was sick. She had called Kelvin to ask what to do, but Butler had stolen the line and wanted to talk to Artemis. Artemis glowered, remembering what Butler had to say. The point had been made that if Artemis didn't stay there with her, Butler would personally go over there and force him to. Artemis didn't want to. He would probably get sick as well from being in contact with Reece.

"Here are your strawberries, your chocolate covered strawberries, and your soup," he proclaimed, setting the tray down on the bedside table. He could've saved his breath. The blonde was out like a light. Artemis smiled wanly and walked silently to his room, which looked more like an office with a bed stuck in it. Lots of dark brown wood, black leather, and black electronics, such as his laptop, gleaming on the top of his desk. He sat down in his chair and started it up.

He could at least finish some schoolwork, if he couldn't be at school directly. Yes, he finished his work faster than the others in his classes, but that didn't mean they weren't time consuming. He was halfway through an essay on the fall of Rome when the communicator vibrated in a drawer. He frowned and took it out.

"Holly?"

"What, do you have someone else calling you on a fairy communicator?"

"What is it, Holly?" He was not in the mood for this. He had spent the morning taking care of a sick teenager, not to mention the night before, when she couldn't fall asleep and kept him up watching movies with her. There were dark shadows under his eyes, and he wanted to take a shower.

"Have you found out anything more of importance on our jewel thief?"

"No, I haven't," the afore-mentioned replied, feeling traces of guilt. He hadn't had the time for it, what with schoolwork and Elizabeth and Reece falling ill.

"This isn't like you, Artemis."

"Other activities are demanding my attention at present."

"Fine… Well, I called to say that I visited America and found traces of the lost GPS signal. The jewel is in eastern Canada, near the Great Lakes. Be ready; I'll come pick you up in thirty minutes. We can be in Ontario just as dusk is falling and wrap this thing up."

"That sounds fine-" Artemis hard a cough from the other room and stopped short. He couldn't just _leave_ Reece here, ill, alone, not knowing where he went. She'd never forgive him. Butler would never forgive him. Kelvin would undoubtably never forgive him. He had left his charge in Artemis's care. A fine way to repay that trust, by leaving her to go prancing off to North America. No one would forgive him. Even Artemis wouldn't forgive himself.

"Holly, I can't go," he said bluntly.

"What! Why not! I am a civilian now, Mud Boy. Do you know what it takes to get an aboveground pass _and _a ship!"

"Yes, I know. But I'm preoccupied at the moment."

"Screw whatever you're preoccupied with! What is so much more important than this!"

"I'm taking care of a friend. She's ill."

There was a pause on the other line. "…She?"

"She is female, Holly," he said, rolling his eyes.

Holly looked to be weighing the options. "Fine. We'll bring her with us, then. I have your location. Be out front in thirty minutes."

She logged off, leaving Artemis dumbstruck. Had the loss of her captain status addled her mind? She was suggesting to reveal herself, and therefore the People, to a human. Artemis conveniently forgot that he himself was human. Perhaps Holly was counting on the illness factor; with Reece so ill she might just think the entire ordeal a sickness-induced hallucination.

It could work. If it didn't, Artemis would explain everything to her, and trust that she wouldn't misuse the information. Elizabeth was encouraging him to trust other people more, and had put forward the idea that he could start with Reece, seeing as he already knew her, but not as much as Elizabeth would like. Artemis was alright with it. It would be easier to get along with Reece than it would be with one of the idiots in his classes. Reece wasn't an idiot at all. In fact, he was starting to find her-

"Artemis?" Reece asked. She was in the doorway, leaning on the doorframe for support. Her hair hung limply to her shoulders, her normal variety of shades of blonde replaced by a dark honey colour, stark against her ashen face.

"I heard vo-voices," she yawned. She slid down the wall to sit on the floor.

"You shouldn't be out of bed." _Even though she's going to have to be for an indefinate period of time in thirty-_ he glanced at his rolex. _Twenty-six minutes._

"I have to get better sometime." Reece flapped a hand at him. In doing so, the sleeve of her overly large shirt slipped down her forearm.

Artemis grimaced, seeing that she was in her nightclothes. It hadn't mattered before, but they were going to Canada in less than half an hour, and Reece was not going in her pajamas.

Artemis moved to crouch next to her. "Ah, Reece?"

"Yes?"

"We have to go somewhere very soon. You need to get dressed." Artemis kept his wording as simple as possible, as Reece wasn't feeling well and therefore most likely not in the correct frame of mind to keep up with his extensive vocabulary.

"Where are we going?"

"I'll tell you when we get there. Oh, and also, some other people will with us as well. They're my friends."

"Alright Artemis. Is it time to go?" She got to her feet and was about to go to the front door.

"No, not yet. But Reece, you have to get dressed." Artemis prayed that she could dress herself. If not, the situation would get very awkward.

"Okay Artemis." Reece smiled at him and managed a weak trot to her room. She returned wearing cargo pants and a form-fitting black shirt.

"Ready." She smiled that same odd smile, as if she had one foot in reality and the other in a dreamland.

"Alright. One moment." Artemis grabbed a backpack from the depths of his closet and walked quickly to the apartment's bathroom, stocking it with Advil, Tylenol, aspirin, cold medicine, flu medicine, and whatever else he thought Reece might need. He slung the backpack over his shoulders and walked back to his room to grab the briefcase that held his laptop. He might need it.

Through it all, Reece trailed behind him, not knowing what else to do.

Artemis pushed his dark hair out of his eyes and ran a mental checklist, thinking of anything he had forgotten or anything else he might need. He dropped the bags on the black leather couch next to Reece, who had gotten bored and curled up there until it was time to leave. Artemis retrieved a fleece blanket from Reece's bed and stuffed that in the backpack, and tried to think of anything else. There was nothing. Alright, time to go.

"Reece. Time to go."

"Five more minutes."

_**An hour later.**_

Artemis sat in the co-pilot's seat, feeling better than he had in a while. He had been feeling overwhelmed previously, what with Reece and having to get ready quickly. Now, he could relax for a while. They were still four hours from Canada. With a normal plane, it would take eight hours. With a fairy shuttle, it took a little over half the time.

Artemis was catching up with Holly and Mulch, and they him. Reece was in back, taking up two seats as she slumbered. Artemis felt much gratitude towards her; when she met Holly and Mulch, she had acted very differently than he thought she would. He had presumed she would ask numerous questions and cause a whole affair. Instead, she had smiled, waved, and went to sleep. Artemis was unnerved by this behavior. He would almost rather if she had asked a hundred questions. Almost.

"Want something to eat?" Artemis heard Mulch ask from the back of the shuttle. He was about to respond when he found that he wasn't the one Mulch was speaking to.

"No thanks, I'm fine," Reece answered. A moment later, she appeared in the entrance to the cockpit. "Hi." She waved, smiling lightly. She was still visibly sick. Her face was pale while colour bloomed on her cheeks and forehead. She clutched the fleece blanket around her. Artemis was suddenly very glad he had brought it.

"Hi girl," Holly replied, not unkindly.

Reece nodded to her and looked over at Artemis. "So, what'd I miss?"

"We are four hours from Canada. How are you?"

"I've been better," Reece admitted. She made shooing motions to Artemis. Artemis raised a brow and scooted over in his seat. Reece perched herself on the edge of the seat next to him. Holly snickered, keeping herself from making any noise. Reece turned toward her, and Artemis took the opportunity to place the inside of his wrist against Reece's forehead.

"I'm fine," Reece said dourly to him.

"You'd feel better if you slept the whole way there. I suppose it matters not, though. You'll have more than enough time to sleep. You'll have the ride back to sleep during, as well as the time we'll be gone on our errand in Ontario."

Hearing this, Holly turned, crossing her arms. "Negative, Artemis. No way. She's not staying behind."

"You are suggesting to bring her with us on this little adventure?" Artemis demanded, his voice rising.

"It is unavoidable. I am not leaving her alone on this ship," Holly retorted, her own voice rising. Their glares mirrored each other.

"Why not? All she will do is sleep. I never knew you to be so sensitive to feelings of loneliness for a human you don't even know."

"That's not the reason. Artemis, this is a fairy shuttle. One curiosity attack, one flip of a switch and she could be hurtling into a wall. Mud Men are too curious for their own good. This ship is made from fairy technology, and I will not allow any Mud Man –nor girl– to have access to all this without my supervision. And that is that." She glared openly at Artemis, daring him with her eyes to challenge her.

Artemis opened his mouth, but Reece spoke. "You aren't leaving me behind. I want to come."

Artemis transferred his glare to Reece. "No. Kelvin would never allow it."

Reece's chin jerked up mulishly. "But Kelvin is not here."

The sole male occupant of the cockpit –as Mulch was in the back gorging– looked from Reece's face to Holly's. Both bore the same expression. He glowered. The females won this round.

They saw the expression on his face and brightened victoriously. Reece turned to Holly, holding up her hand for a high-five casually. Artemis saw Holly hesitate only slightly before she grinned and high-fived Reece.

Reece may not have realized it, but fairies and humans haven't exchanged such a friendly gesture in aeons. Artemis felt a smile lift the corners of his mouth. For an unexplainable reason, it made him feel better that Reece and Holly were getting along.

After a moment of comfortable silence, in which the three watched as Holly coasted the shuttle easily through the empty chutes that lead to Canada, Reece spoke.

"When will we get there?"

"A little under four hours, give or take," Holly answered.

"This'll take forever." Reece didn't bother going to her area in the back; she made herself comfy where she was. She shifted, changing positions to get maximum comfort. Artemis noticed that she was half in his lap and was past the 'too close for comfort' line, but disregarded it on grounds of her being delirious with fever. He didn't admit to himself that he wasn't uncomfortable with their current positions, and instead looked out the window. He soon became lost in thought as he tried to see past the total blackness of the chute beyond the shuttle's headlights. They would be in Canada in less than four hours, and he needed to come up with another infamous plan.

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Author's hype: 

I wrote a lot in reply to each review. Ah well. I was in a writing mood. This chapter is alright. I want to add more fluff, but I always forget, and then I don't want to go in and change it. There shall be more next chapter.See, the thing is, I don't want to add too much at once, because it'll be totally fake. Nevertheless, Artemis is warming up to Reece more and more… Who knows what the next chapter will bring… Who knows, besides me of course. Heehee.

This chapter is unique in that it is completely told in Artemis's point of view.

Oh, by the way. The reason I haven't updated is very simple: I've sold my soul to Ragnarok Online. xD Sad, really. But oh so fun. I'm obsessed. Of course, I barely understand it. I have to have my friend help me through it, and if she isn't on, then I'm pretty much screwed and can't go on until she gets online, for fear of messing up big-time. For my first job, I'm a swordsman. Oh yeah. Me and my rapier kick butt. x3

...Am I the only one who hasn't seen the new _Pirates of the Caribbean_ movie? xD It sure feels that way. I just don't like seeing movies in theatres... I'll wait until it comes out on DVD... Tschüss!


	6. Canadian Conundrum Part 2

Disclaimer: Reece is mine but Artemis is not. Would I trade Reece for Artemis if I had the chance? Er… I'll get back to you.

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**_Reece_**

"Will she be alright?" A disembodied voice asked. Male, Reece thought.

"It's only a few bruises and a concussion, Mud Boy!" Another disembodied voice asked. This one was undoubtably female. "From your reaction, you'd think she was dead already!"

It was as if the voices were coming from above her. Was she dead? The female thought so. Isn't that what she said? Something like that. It didn't really matter what she said or didn't say, if Reece was already dead.

"I blame you for what happened."

"What! Share the responsibility, you idiot! I didn't physically get her like this myself! You were the one who made her hide in that _stupid_ place!"

"You were the one who suggested she come along, and then you were the one who was adamant of her leaving the shuttle. I cannot see how any of this is my fault." Reece was sure this was Artemis. No one else was that hard-headed. So the other had to be Holly Short.

"Stop picking a fight! Just admit you're worried as well! I was just as worried as you when Roderick grabbed her! If Mulch hadn't got him when he did, he could have easily snapped her neck like a twig!"

"Now this is fascinating. One of the People caring what happens to a human?"

"If I still had my buzz baton you'd be out cold!" Holly snarled.

"Thank God for small favors," Artemis quipped.

Reece couldn't stant this anymore. Their argument was making her already aching head hurt even more. She could definitley believe that she had a concussion. Her blood was pulsing painfully in the veins of her head.

Her eyelids fluttered open, and immediatley scrunched shut. A blinding white light was directly above her, shining into her face. Beneath her closed lids, her pupils contracted until they were only pinpoints in a sea of grey.

"Mud Boy! She moved! …Stop sulking and get over here." A shadow crossed Reece's vision, like an eclipse of the sun. She tentatively opened her eyes. "Her pupils are very small. It may be a worse concussion than I had thought." A cropped auburn head filled Reece's field of vision.

"Maybe they're small because of the light shining in them," Reece said. Her voice sounded odd. Whispery and far-away. She cleared her throat, trying to try again. It kept going into a full-blown coughing fit. Someone stuck a styrofoam cup of water under her nose. She drank, trying to stop the perpetual coughing. As she drank, she took in her surroundings. She was in the tiny infirmary the shuttle had.

She glared at Holly. "Why am I on a table?" No wonder she had been uncomfortable. A long, cold, metal plane that reminded her of an examination table. She wrinkled her nose.

"We didn't know where else to put you. We thought we'd have to heal you. Don't look at me like that, Mud Girl. I don't mean _operate_. You looked worse for wear earlier, though."

_Oh, that's right. What happened...?Artemis came up with a plan, and we left the shuttle. I was told to stay put… But Holly! Holly got hurt. And the centaur did something to me. Did I break a bone?_

She remembered, now. Artemis explained to her before they got off about someone named Roderick. Who turned out to be a centaur. That was a shocker. Artemis had gone on, saying that he and Holly had been searching for a jewel that was missing from one of Holly's clients, and the jewel had been traced to this person- centaur, Roderick, who was as attracted to shiny things as a magpie. He was hiding in a false attic of a warehouse in Ontario, Canada. They infiltrated the warehouse. Artemis told Reece to stay put behind some cargo. Holly and Artemis ambushed Roderick with some weapons Reece had never seen before, while Mulch was supposed to go in the back entrance and swipe the jewel.

There had been a slight hitch, though. Roderick knocked Holly out and sent her flying into a wall, not five feet from where Reece was told to hide. Reece didn't know what to do, Holly was hurt but Artemis told her not to move. She ran out to aid Holly, but was seen by Roderick. If only he had been looking the other way for a couple seconds! Roderick charged her. Reece remembered that part without any trouble. You wouldn't forget a 300 lb crazed centaur charging at you very easily. He grabbed her in a merciless grip, bruising her ribs and her arms. She remembered a bright blue light, then falling, then waking up to Holly and Artemis fighting.

"What happened after the centaur-guy grabbed me?" She asked. To Holly, it must have seemed out of the blue.

"Er. Mulch hit him with a Neutrino on a high setting, he dropped you, and you landed on your head and upper back, which is why you have a concussion. On top of a cold. Mulch called the LEP to take Roderick into custody, since we found that that attic was his hoard for thousands of other jewels he had stolen or had stolen for him. Artemis carried you back here, and here you are. Artemis get ov-"

"Here, Reece." Artemis had been rummaging in a container. He now handed her an ice pack. It crinkled oddly when Reece took it. She looked at it closely, and saw something like crystals in the gel. She raised her brows and put it on a large bruise dominating her left arm.

"I'm tired," she stated quietly. She flushed. She hated having a cold. It made her feel weaker than everyone else. She hated feeling weak, and therefore inferior.

"Oh, of course. It's obvious that you would. No one would be able to get any rest with a certain ex- LEP Captain yelling at innocents."

Holly snorted rather loudly. "'Innocents'? And I suppose you find yourself in this category? I've never seen you innocent, and I knew you before you were even a teenager. I actually wonder if you were ever innocent at all."

Artemis glared at her, about to voice a reply. Reece stepped in. "Ah, no fighting. At least wait a second." She half-hopped, half-fell off the metal table, trotting out of the room. She poked her head in, informing them that they could now continue their argument, and left to go keep Mulch company.

**_Artemis_**

Artemis and Holly gaped after her. They met each other's eyes, and glared at each other.

"Wonderful procedure, starting an argument in the company of an ill and injured being."

Holly threw up her hands. "Why are you continuing this! This was the reason she left, if you didn't notice!"

Artemis looked the other way, his nose in the air. Holly made gestures of wringing someone's neck. Artemis made a start at saying something, but then stopped. Holly seemed to know what he was about to say. She stopped choking the air and glared daggers at him, planting her feet and crossing her arms ominously.

"Say it."

Artemis's gaze seemed to say, 'make me'.

Holly was past the end of her patience. "Now," she demanded vehemently. Her eyes flashed, a warning that if he did not answer, she would slam his face into the table.

"Fine!" Artemis glared at her, then said it as if he was talking of the weather, "I was worried." His voice didn't say much, but his eyes told the real story.

He left a triumphant and gleeful elf in the infirmary and went to find where Reece had got to. He found her wrapped in her fleece, asleep in the passenger's area of the shuttle. She was falling out of her seat, her head almost touching the carpet. He lifted her easily and sat down, arranging her comfortably in his arms. He remembered to hold the ice pack to her bruise, frowning when he saw the full extent of the bruises that speckled her arms. He counted back from 100 in German to calm down.

Staring off into space, he began to put together a story to tell Kelvin. He would tell Butler the real story, but if he did the same to Kelvin he would never let Artemis get near his charge again. Artemis wouldn't stand for that. Looking at Reece's sleeping face, Artemis knew he definitley wouldn't stand for that.

* * *

Author's Hype:

Whoosh! Sorry I haven't updated in forever. I got so lazy this summer. When school starts, I'll post more. I know that sounds really odd. Usually it's the other way around. But I use posting on stories to procrastinate doing homework. XD

I found out how to work the 'reply' thing on the reviews! Arigato gozaimasu, Hana-chan… -bow- So, if you posted a review after ch5 came out, I'll reply to it on there. Hopefully it'll work.

By the way, if you review something like 'Really cool story, thanks for writing it, update soon!' then I'll rarely reply to it. It gets kinda old to keep typing 'Thanks, you're welcome, okay', or something, every time. That's not to say I disregard it. I really like hearing that people like the story. It's just hard to reply to. If you add something in like 'Hey, I'd like to see Artemis and Reece having an ice cream cone scene at some point' or 'I really liked this part' or something, it's much more fun to reply to it. Ja ne!


	7. Ficlet

Disclaimer: Blah blah blah Artemis isn't mine blah blah Reece is.

Replies to reviews (since I found out the stupid bloody thing actually **doesn't** let my reply... muttermuttercursecurse)

Ms.RealMadrid and A Cup of Earl Grey: Look to the Author's Hype for answers to your questions.

camikaza: Can you believe that I still haven't seen it? Ehehe. XD

YonderTiger: Thanks, and I do speak some German. I know more German profanity than anything else though... Comes from living with German teenagers for two weeks... cough Anyways. XD That's a really good question. Maybe she will. That would make for an interesting encounter.

QuincePaste: Thanks, and that might just happen.

DANIEL: I like RO a lot. I'm planning on drawing some of my characters I like best on there. Sadly, I don't get much time to play it anymore.

Faustus Bailey: First of all, I really love the name Faustus. Just wanted to add that. And, I feel honoured that if you don't read much Artemis Fowl fanfics you still read mine.

Laelia: Yeah, that's why I made an OC for the pairing with Artemis. I know there's a ton of Artemis/Holly fics on here, but I just can't see that happening, and there's no way I could write that. I'm not up to cross-species-pairings as of yet. XD

Michael: Thanks very much for the many compliments.

divinedragon7: Haha, thanks! "One of the best Artemis stories you've read", huh... I feel all special now. lol

To all the other reviewers who reviewed and complimented me: Thank you very very much. I would love to compliment you individually, but I would take up half the page. That doesn't mean I skip over your reviews. I read each one and am thrilled to recieve them.

A word before you start reading: (Yeah, I know, more to read. It'll only take a second.)

This doesn't really have to do with the plotline of this story. (Me: Whoa there's a plot!) This is just a little ficlet I thought of during Pre-Calculus class. It's the night of when Artemis and Reece return to their apartment. The last chapter was during the day, this mini-chapter is that night. Okay?  
-----(it appears there is a effing 'Error on page' that won't let me do the line... want to strangle it...)-----

Artemis lunged awake, his nightmare slowly draining back into his subconscious. He gasped, breathing heavily. He was aware of many things at once, all of them uncomfortable. The sheets pooled around him felt like quicksand and the hair in his eyes felt like copper wire. He staggered out, bringing half his sheets with him. He kicked them off and walked to the bathroom in his silk pajama bottoms. The burst of light felt like a **knife in his eyes.** He turned on the faucet, filling a glass and gulping down the contents. He took several deep breaths. His nightmare had felt too real. He recalled a quote someone had once said to him: "How would you know you were ever asleep if you did not wake up?" His dream had been so real, if he had not woken up he would have been sure it was true.

They had been back in Canada. Roderick lunged at Reece, just as before. Unlike before, Mulch was nowhere to be found. Roderick slammed Reece into the walls and floor, as if she were a toy. She soon resembled a toy. A lifeless ragdoll. After the first few hits, she stopped making any noise. Roderick was having fun, though. He was still enraged at being found out, so he took out his agression on Reece, his new ragdoll personally given to him as a present by Artemis Fowl. All because Artemis wasn't forceful enough in making Reece stay on the shuttle. Artemis vowed he would never listen to Reece and Holly again, not noticing how odd that sounded. Artemis tried to run to her, to take on Roderick himself. He ran, but didn't get anywhere. It was as if he ran in place. He watched in horror as Roderick continued to batter Reece, while he could do nothing.

Artemis pulled a hand-towel off the stand and ran it under the water, scrubbing his face clean of sweat brought on by the nightmare. His eyes landed on the door across from him, the connecting door to Reece's bedroom. All thought of the towel forgotten, he reached for the doorknob and turned. The thing wouldn't open. He jiggled it, to no avail. Panic rose within him, easily come what with the nightmare occuring so recently. He yanked the doorknob, losing patience. Doors were made so people could open them, damn it. He swore in various languages in his head, swinging the doorknob all the way to the right and kneeing it, finally successful. He closed the door behind him and took a few steps closer to the bed. He almost had a heart attack when at first he thought there was no one occupying the bed.

"Reece?" Artemis could make out a human-sized lump in the bed and talked to it.

"What?"

"You're awake?" Artemis was surprised to get a reply.

"Apparently," Reece drawled.

"Move over." He wasn't going to let Roderick take her. The next morning, he would wonder in disbelief what had come over him, to think that a centaur being held in a cement jail cell miles beneath the Earth's crust could just magic himself into Reece's room.

"What!"

"**_Move_** _over."_

Reece lifted her head, scrutinizing him. She laid her head back down, getting comfortable. She rolled over. "You're tired, Artemis. Go to bed."

The dark-haired male was only too willing to oblige. He climbed in beside Reece.

"What the hell are you doing! _Your_ bed, _idiot!"_ She bolted upright, red to her ears. She was wearing only a _nightshirt_, for Christ's sake! She acted as casually as possibly, and cuffed him.

Artemis didn't reply, only snagged a pillow and moved himself closer to Reece. She was taking all the covers. He felt something cold and not at all flesh. He touched it again, and pulled it out from beneath the covers, staring at it in the almost nonexistant light.

"Why do you have a aluminum baseball bat in your bed?" He asked, rather calmly. The blonde was very odd... Maybe it was because she was blonde. Artemis hadn't known many blondes. Besides Juliet. And she was quite odd as well.

"Because someone who shall remain nameless was masquerading as a burglar by skulking around in the bathroom and messing with the door to my bedroom!" Reece snatched it from him and tossed it off the bed.

"I wasn't a burglar. I _am not_ a burglar," he corrected himself.

"You were sure acting like one, practically breaking the door down trying to get in here." Reece grumbled.

He rolled his eyes and shrugged, too worn out for any more bickering. He laid down, planning on falling asleep promptly. His nightmare had exhausted him. She scuttled away from him, taking the covers with her. It proved to be her downfall. Artemis Fowl wanted to go to sleep, so therefore Artemis Fowl would go to sleep. He pinned her against the wall... and went to sleep. Reece, squeezed between the wall and a _guy in_ _her bed_, picked a random side and rolled over. She didn't care what position she ended up in. Even if she ended up face to face with Artemis. She went to sleep with her cheek pillowed on Artemis's palm, carelessly laid on her pillow.

----------  
**knife in his** **eyes:** Since your pupil is really just a hole in the iris, you _could_ physically stick something in it. I think you would have to dilate the pupil a lot though, with those drops you sometimes get after you go to the optometrist. Then you could stick, like, a thin pencil in, or something. Well, not you as in _you_, because you might 'miss', to put it mildly, but you as in a surgeon could probably do it. But, even if a surgeon could do it, they could only do it on a cadaver. Want to know why? Because, if you stick something into your pupil, it damages the lens, which you definitley need intact and not punctured. The lens focuses light rays entering the eye to form an image on the retina.  
Er, yeah. Just a little morbidity (made up word, most likely) to liven up your day.  
----------

Author's Hype:

Okay, there were a couple reviews I got asking if there was going to be sexual scenes and when was I going to finally get to them. Here's the answer to that. When I started this fanfic, the whole point of it was to update on it. I had to update, and continue updating. The point of this fanfic was to make myself actually stick with something. Because all my other stories are about great ideas, but they never go anywhere because I drop 'em for a better idea I have. I actually thought I'd get to all the sexual scenes earlier, but it didn't turn out that way. And, if I get to them too soon and just end it there, then that takes away my goal of sticking with a story as long as possible.

There will be sexual scenes, but when they're appropriate. (Geez, don't see those two phrases together. "Sexual scenes" and "appropriate" rather than inappropriate in the same sentence. Haha.) What I mean is that I'm not going to toss in a sex scene now, because it would be completely OOC to do it so fast.

When the sex scenes do come, try not to kill me if they suck. I am fourteen. I have not had sex. That doesn't mean I don't know 'the nuts and bolts of sex', as my teacher last year so charmingly put it, because I do. Thank you older cousins and older friends and older ex-boyfriend so bloody much. XD

Whatever. Hoped you liked the chapter. Ja ne!


	8. Ficlet 2

I had a reviewer comment on The Lost Colony, so I replied then went to Google to get a link to information on what it was. There, I heard of Minerva. -dramatic organ music plays- First thing I thought? "This will not do." Want to know what I think, even if it contradicts what Eoin Colfer apparently thinks? I think Artemis would feel almost threatened by a girl with an IQ close to his and yet two years younger. He'd want a girl who had a definitley lesser IQ, so he could feel superior, but who was clever in a different way than he was, to keep him interested. And, but of course, Reece fits these qualifications. Haha. Whenever I hear the name Minerva I think of a middle-aged woman who is crabby and old-fashioned. Eheh.

So, here's another ficlet to keep you entertained. I know I said the last one didn't have much to do with the storyline, but this one _really_ doesn't. Will I introduce Minerva into the story later on? We'll see. Only if it fits in an interesting way. And if I do, I don't plan on doing any severe Minerva-bashing like portraying her as a devil child who sides with the bad guys or something.

Disclaimer: This is a parody of Minerva and Reece having it out with each other. And all the rest: I don't own Artemis nor Minerva nor Butler blah blah.

To my fantastic reviewers: I shall give note of your wonderfulness (i.e. reply to your reviews) when I post the next real chapter.

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_Reece and Minerva occupy a sitting room in the Fowl Manor._

Reece: -hurls a chair at Minerva- Artemis is mine! How dare you, you snippy little girl!

Minerva: He's _mine_, damn it! I lived _in his house_ for three years!

Reece: Who cares! He wasn't even there! We actually _do_ live together!

Minerva: -_gasp-_ You-You harlot!

Reece: -throws another blunt object at her-

Minerva: Stop it! -dodges- How can Artemis stand to be around someone who has all the control of an infant?

Reece: How can Artemis stand to be around someone whose first national appearance was when she was in a spelling bee while still in diapers?

Minerva: Take that back! I was four! Completely bathroom-trained! -throws a lamp-

Reece: Who has control _now! Huh!_

Minerva: -tosses her head full of beautiful golden blonde corkscrew curls-

Reece: -tosses her dirty-blonde head- Artemis would never go out with a Shirley Temple girl. You're exactly like her. You both have that rubber-curls look and you're both little.

Minerva: Speak for yourself, you American wannabe!

Reece: I am not an American wannabe!

Minerva: Give me a break! Your hairstyle looks like Avril Lavigne's, to me!

Reece: You stupid little- -tackles her and yanks her hair-

Minerva: -screams for the police, grabs Reece's hair-

Reece: -bites her hand-

Minerva: -screams again- You beast, you heathen, you- Aghh! Artemis said he had "blasts of affection" for me!

Reece: Shut _up!_ I know him better than you ever will you stupid French girl! He likes _me!_

Minerva: You are _wrong!_ Your IQ will _never_ get as close to his as mine is!

Reece: Who cares! He likes me because I don't compete with him! Unlike all you other stupid people! AND. -lets go of of Minerva and smirks- He took care of me when I was sick.

Minerva: -gapes- He did not.

Reece: Yes, he did. -smiles victoriously-

Minerva: -flips hair- You are lying. What a horrid girl you are, to lie like that. But you know what? It doesn't matter, because he rescued me when I was in danger!

Reece: Him taking care of me when I was sick is much more intimate, and I am _not_ lying! -seethes-

Minerva: Temper, temper!

Reece: -slams her into a wall-

Minerva: -screams and elbows Reece in the ribs-

Reece: -punches her in the stomach-

Butler: -looks in, gawks-

Minerva & Reece: FUCK OFF.

Butler: -scrambles away-

Minerva & Reece: -ready to spring at each other again-

Butler: -returns with Kelvin, and together restrain the two-

Minerva: -purrs- See, Reecie? _I_ got _Artemis's _bodyguard.

Reece: -screams and slaps her-

Minerva: -kicks Reece in the shins-

Butler & Kelvin: -put the both of them in harnesses and ship 'em off to Greenland-

Artemis: -walks in, wonders where Reece and Minerva are...-

_-Fin_

_----------_

Author's Hype:  
I only just realized in the middle of writing this that I had no idea what Minerva's personality was like. XD How about that? Well, it's 10:04pm now on a Thursday night, I'm finished with my diet black cherry soda, and it's time I lay in bed and day dream until morning comes. Uh huh. Your humble author does not sleep. oo; I lie awake and watch the movies I direct (and sometimes star in) play on the inside of my eyelids. Of course, I end up going to sleep at some point, but man, it's always hours until then. Yeesh. Night readers. I wonder if readers actually read the 'Author's Hype' I do. If you read this, and decide to review, put in something that says 'I read the author's hype!' or something, sil vous plait. Haha.


	9. Back to the Story

Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl nor MASH nor the History Channel nor the Hallmark Channel. But if I did... man would I be rich. I actually love MASH. I have like 9 seasons of it on DVD...

To my reviewers: I love you guys so much (in an author-to-reader way), but I'm going to stop individually replying to your lovely reviews. It's because I looked back at the 'Ficlet' update and you had to actually scroll before you could get to the story. I'll probably just answer them in a roundabout way. I love love _love_ emails and private messages, though, so if you want to email/message me go right ahead. I check my email a hundred times a day -cough since I have no life cough- so you'll get a fast reply._**

* * *

****Reece** _

Reece trudged through the unfamiliar hallways of St Leander's. Guys in black or khaki slacks lounged against their lockers, watching the intruder. Reece halted at the door at the end of the hall. She glanced around, then ducked inside.

"Hi, I'm here for the missed work of Artemis Fowl II," she said in her best 'professional voice', the voice you use when talking to job interviewers or when you are a telephone operator.

"And you are?" The man behind the desk pushed his spectacles up the bridge of his nose and searched for the paper clipped stack of papers.

"Reece Stuart, from St Delia's. He asked me to pick them up for him."

"I see…" He shuffled around some more before turning to look at her. "I can't find the papers; they must have already been picked up. My apologies."

"What? Look again. I'm sure I was the only one who Artemis asked to pick them up."

The man stood, irritated. "Now look, missy, the papers are not here. And you would do well to refrain from being so impetuous with your elders."

"You think I'm being _impetuous_? You have seen _nothing_ yet. If you-"

"Hi Mister Hall, anything wrong?" A clear voice asked from the doorway.

"No, no, it's fine. I am dealing with it." Mister Hall glared at Reece.

Reece didn't like the way he had said 'dealing with it'. She was not an 'it'. She glared right back. "Look, Mister Hall, I was asked by a sick friend to come pick up his missed work. If I return without it, Artemis will not be-"

"Artemis? As in, Fowl?"

Reece blinked. "Yes…" She turned to look at the man in the doorway. He was probably a senior. He had black hair, golden brown eyes, and a smile that was catching. He crouched down with the ease of a large cat –he was at least six feet tall– and rummaged around in his briefcase before coming up with a paper clipped bundle of papers. He stood, and held them out to Reece.

"I picked these up earlier, since our homeroom teacher asked me to take him his homework. Sorry about the mix-up."

"Oh! It's fine. Thank you," Reece smiled, all charm now that she didn't have to talk to the idiot receptionist. She took the papers and slid them into her own briefcase.

"No, really, it's my fault. How about a coffee or something? On me." He flashed a smile.

"I don't even know your name," Reece laughed.

"It's Samuel. Samuel **Ross**." He held out his hand. Reece took it with as much dignity as she could muster- his hand completely dwarfed her own.

"Reece Stuart. And actually, I should get going. Thanks anyway," she made a move to leave, but he was blocking the doorway.

"How about a ride then? You don't look old enough to drive."

Reece flushed and shot him a dour look. "Thanks so much."

"It was a compliment!"

"You forgot to warn me."

"But, about the ride…?"

"Fine…"

"Sweet. Mine is the silver Porsche Panamera."

"Right."

_**Artemis**_

Artemis sat in a leather armchair in the living room, watching the History channel, of all things. The chair was stuffed with blankets and pillows. A mug of steaming Earl Grey tea, a plate of hot pockets, and the remote were all within reach. Artemis had wallowed there all day, sometimes dozing. Reece had so generously given him her cold. As Artemis sneezed and grabbed a tissue, starting on his third box of Kleenex, he wished she could just as generously take it back.

He was about to doze off again when he heard the key in the lock. He swiftly grabbed his robe and pushed his arms through the sleeves.

"…Shhh, he might be asleep," Artemis heard Reece say.

"Who are you talking to?" Artemis asked. He swiveled around to look at the open front door. Reece strolled in, dumping her briefcase on the kitchen table and shucking her blazer.

"One of your friends," she replied nonchalantly. She turned back toward the door and said, "It's alright; you can come in."

"One of my-?" Artemis demanded. A friend? Here? He watched a tall brunet enter the apartment, and rolled his eyes. Ah. Yes. 'Friend.' Ross was a classmate. Nothing more. "Hello, Ross."

"Hey, Fowl, don't get up. Just dropping in with your homework assignments."

"Yes, I told Reece to pick them up for me…" He shot Reece a look, but turned back to Ross, who hadn't finished speaking.

"Yeah, there was a mix-up, but it's alright now." He leaned against the kitchen island, looking around. "So you guys live together? Why?"

"Long story," Artemis replied, with a tone of finality.

"Samuel, do you want something?" Reece asked. She indicated the refrigerator.

He grinned and tousled his dark hair. "I'll take a rain check on it. I gotta get going. Get well soon, Fowl. Bye Reece." He waggled his fingers at her and left, closing the door behind him.

Artemis turned on Reece. "Why are you bringing random men here? Didn't your mother teach you not to talk to strangers?" He sneered.

"Shut up. He's your classmate; not mine." She rolled her eyes and sat on the couch, grabbing the remote.

"Ah. So, correct me if I'm wrong, because he is a classmate, you brought him home with you. Are you going to bring the rest of my class home as well?"

She didn't answer, deciding to surf the channels instead. She stopped at the Hallmark channel and started to watch an episode of MASH.

"It's polite to answer," Artemis chastised.

"_Polite?"_ Reece snapped her head over to glare at him. "As if you'd know what politeness was! …I refuse to speak to you like this!"

"What do you mean, 'like this?'"

"When you're sick. You are so aggravating. Moreso than usual." She stomped over to her briefcase and took out a package of papers. She tossed them into his lap. Blinking, Artemis looked down at them, trying to decipher the text.

"Your homework. The missed work you asked me to get, remember?" A long pause, then, "You're welcome." Reece grabbed her briefcase and walked to her room, shutting the door soundly.

Artemis growled and put the papers on the coffee table. Yes, he'd lost his temper, in a way. He had acted shamefully toward Reece, and he should apologize. Artemis turned off the television with the remote, and yanked the blankets over his head. Maybe later. He spent the afternoon sulking under the blankets and having day dreams of Samuel Ross guillotined.

* * *

**Ross**: Both Ross and Stuart are very common Scottish last names. Stewart was the royal family's name. I had Reece's name be Stuart, a different spelling, because one, I thought having her be descended from royalty was a little much, and two, because I didn't like how the name looked all together. Reece Stewart. Reece Stuart.

* * *

Author's Hype: 

Finally sat down and was all 'Okay. Time to write this thing.' I actually wrote half of it during lunch today, because I felt like it. I was in the mood for writing, I guess. So, new character. I had made this excellent profile of Samuel and everything... then my computer blew up. Sort of. Anyways, all my work went kablooey, so this Samuel is completely from scratch. Maybe he'll be cooler because of that. Anyone notice how he looks similar to Artemis? It's on purpose. Yes, Samuel is like a slightly-taller, light brown-eyed version of Artemis. In appearance, at least. We'll see where it goes.  
...Usually I write a ton here, but now I can't think of much. Er. My fifteenth birthday came and went, and I want to get my hair cut very short very soon. Think guy-short. Oh, or, like the girl in Hard Candy, that really awesome movie that I saw about a week or two ago, on the night of my birthday (October 8th).  
Anyways, see you, and glad to be active again!

Ja ne!


	10. Impulse

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that has been published in any of Eoin Colfer's works.

In reply to reviews: I'm learning about the French Revolution in history class, so I added in the '...having day dreams of Sameul Ross guillotined' bit in there for fun. I think it's something Artemis would do. He's ultra-modern in everything else, that I can't see him getting a kick out of having someone killed by nano-machines or something. He'd want a good ol' fashioned decapitation. Yeah, sorry about the wait. It was the chore of having to create Samuel that kept stopping me. I kept thinking, 'oh, I'm going to have to spend an hour writing up Samuel before I can post... I don't want to do that... So posting can wait...' Yeah. Bekett is a lazy-ass, yes she is.

* * *

_**Artemis**_

Artemis paced Elizabeth's counselling office irritably while Elizabeth napped in her comfy office chair.

"I mean really," Artemis went on. "How can she stand that annoying, pompous, illiterate excuse for a homo sapien? He's more like a neanderthal, with that mutant phisique of his. Of course, this is only speculation. It has merely come to my attention."

"Mhm..." Elizabeth had her eyes closed and her back turned to him, pretending to pay attention. It wasn't as if she needed to. Artemis was doing a perfectly fine job of being both the patient and the doctor.

"These feelings are rational, even natural, wouldn't you say, doctor? Of course they are. They are _my_ feelings, which have never been anything but rational. If they are then rational, why I do these rational feelings also tell me that I am being irrational? Because my feelings are rational, and they are telling me I am feeling irrational, that must mean I am irrational? Since when have I been irrational? I am anything but, if I say so myself. Which I do. Don't you think so, doctor? In the short time since we've begun these meetings?"

Artemis turned and picked up a sparkly rock Elizabeth used as a paperweight. He tossed it back and forth between his hands as he thought. "As I was saying, these feelings. It embaresses me to admit that I feel some protectiveness over Reece. But who wouldn't? A naive little slip of a girl to walk straight into the clutches of a 'big, bad wolf', so to speak, who wouldn't feel the moral responsibility to step in?"

Artemis paused, then grimaced. "Morals. That's a new concept for me, doctor, if you must know. At any rate, what shall I do about Reece? Doctor? Elizabeth?" He pivoted to look at her. "Are you sleeping? Why are you sleeping?" He glared down at her. "Elizabeth!"

The brunette stirred. "Mm, what? Session over?" She muttered, rubbing her eyes.

"No, the session is not over," Artemis seethed. "Have you been listening to a word I said? Isn't that in some code that you've signed and must follow?"

"Calm down, Artemis. I just woke up." She patted her curls into place, then teepeed her fingers and looked over them at him, smiling. "Yes and no. I didn't need to hear all of it after the first few minutes."

"Ah," scoffed Artemis. "Was my problem that trivial, that you had reached a conclusion in a matter of moments?"

Ignoring that, she continued. "It's obvious you are worried about your friend and don't want her to be taken advantage of. You may even be feeling some jealousy, as you haven't mentioned a reason as to why you dislike this Ross fellow so much."

"Because he is ignorant, he is incompetant, that promiscuous nymphomaniac. He is a scourge upon-"

"A _valid_ reason, Artemis," she said calmly. "You probably feel Reece is being taken away from you. A good way to end the conflict would be for you to express your feelings to her-"

_My rationally irrational feelings,_ thought Artemis, feeling childish.

"-and sort it out. If you wait, if you wait, the opportune time may pass you by. I don't think it will be any easier to explain when Reece's parents come back and you have to leave."

"Leave?" Artemis's thoughts screeched to a halt.

"Well, yes," Elizabeth said, looking puzzled. "I understood that the agreement was that you would coincide with Reece until her parents came back from their honeymoon. Do you not want to go back to your native Ireland?"

"Go back?" _Of course not_, Artemis shouted angrily in his head.

"Yes...? When are they coming back, do you know?"

"Who is coming back?"

"Mr and Mrs Stuart...?"

"Oh, yes, yes, of course. I am actually not aware of that, at this time."

"Oh." Elizabeth blinked. "Anyways, about Reece, it does seem as if you are jealous of Samuel. Maybe because he has the, er, bravura to act flirtatious toward Reece?"

"And you're saying I lack this, this courage? This nerve? This valor, this _tenacity?_ That I am immasculine?"

"I didn't say that at all-"

"Goodbye Doctor." Artemis grabbed his briefcase and left. He would show her. He would show her, Ross, _and_ Reece. He barely heard the sounds of his steps echoing in the empty hallways over the tumultuous thoughts running through his mind.

_**Reece**_

Reece looked up her laptop to see that Artemis had come home from his late appointment. He mentioned a doctor's appointment...? Something like that.

"Hi Artemis." No sooner had the words left her lips than Artemis's mouth was on hers, kissing her intensely. She froze, paralyzed with shock, then snapped out of it. She shoved him away.

"What the hell are you _doing!"_

She stood there, panting, face crimson. When he didn't answer, she ran to her room and slammed the door. Artemis slid down the wall to the carpet, raking his fingers in his dark hair.

"Damn..."

* * *

Author's Hype:

I'm getting so vain, I swear. I get four reviews less than two days after I post the next chapter, and my feathers puff out like a proud peacock. I just wanted to write another one, since I was ecstatic about the reviews. I don't ask for reviews, ever, so I get way excited when I get them. I don't ask for them because there are a ton of phenomenal authors who do, and they deserve them, but... It just takes away from their coolness to ask for reviews, I guess.

So, who liked this chapter? Hm? Shortest chapter yet, according to FF's word count. And we're getting into the M-rated now. Hopefully. Maybe. Since it's taken me ten chapters to do so. -sweatdrop- Who cares. It's been way fun writing all this, even if it's boring for some people who saw the M-rating and thought 'lemon-time!' Not that I haven't done that. XD

Ja ne!


	11. End

Hi- I won't be posting any more of _Artemis's Experiment. _I'm sorry to those who really liked it. I can't thank you enough for reading.

I took this story into a weird direction ever since I introduced Samuel, and all it's been doing is making Artemis more and more OOC. It's annoying. I wrote about half of the next update, and I looked back and I thought 'This is nothing like Artemis. He would never do this or say that or even think like that.'

Also, I can't seem to find the will to write this any more. It feels like a chore, now, and that's not how I write. I write because I want to, not because I have an obligation to. This was like a story I just got out of my system. I'm happy I kept it going so long; that was my goal to begin with.

I'm not going to stop writing, I'm just stopping this one fic. I have others I'd like to work on. If you liked my writing style, you might want to check them out.

Bye guys. Thanks for sticking around.

Au revoir.


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